Once in a while we come across a simple one line which makes us want to laugh. Words phrased in such a way that they express sheer absurdity, but bring a smile to your face. Here are some of the funniest one liners I came across the web :
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you`re on.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
- There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
- My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
- A program bug can be changed to a feature by documenting it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
- Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
Source: The Internet